Funny days in New York City

Hello from a rainy day in NYC. The window is open, and my lamp is on. On days like these it seems like the universe is whispering hints at me. Sparse phrases I overhear in the coffee shop, words on the NYT crossword puzzle, lines in a song that I’d never really understood before seem to be directed at me, infused with the wisdom I need right now. I know, logically, that the world itself isn’t composing these relevant bits for me— that it’s my own mind that is picking out little pieces from the noise and ascribing meaning to them. I can’t decide if that’s better.

I’ve been unable to write a blog post, try as I might, the past few weeks. Everything I’ve been pondering and experiencing is fair game for college applications, so I hesitate to post it here in case plagiarism checks won’t realize that I am myself! I am very sorry for my absence. And for never texting or calling anyone back. I hope you will forgive me.

The UN-PLANNABLE

empire state building! we tried to find our apartment, but I think we were looking south instead of west.

I arrived in New York City in mid-September. We landed at JFK airport, and waited for my aunt to meet us, so she could show us the trainline we needed. She went to a different airport, as it turns out. My mother and I somehow found the subway, and miraculously, made it to Chelsea. I still do not understand how we managed it, running off of 4 hours sleep between the two of us. My mother got her suitcase stuck in a turnstile, and a policeman helped her get it out. A nice lady asked us in a very urgent tone if we were okay. The first few weeks felt like this— wild and hazy.

So much of this trip has been, by nature, un-plannable. Auditions are posted days before they are conducted. Meetings can’t be scheduled months in advance. The two classes I am taking are the only things I could plan.

i <3 the lincoln center

I’m taking a singing course with the Juilliard extension program. The instructor is an extremely accomplished opera singer and coach. He always wears really nice suits to our classes, which makes me wish I would’ve brought better clothes with me. There are five of us students, and my peers are all adults with careers in the arts and/or graduate degrees in music. The whole thing is intimidating and challenging in a really delicious way. I embarrass and surprise myself every week.

In this class, I was told, for the first time in my life, that my youth is a gift in this industry. Previously, I’d been told that I won’t get casted until I’m forty, because I don’t “read” young onstage. Looking back, it’s hysterical I was told this, and that I believed it. I suppose in a line up of children, I seem the most adult. But in a line up of actual professionals, I “read” my age. It was wonderfully freeing to be told that I need to choose material that wasn’t written for the Donna Murphys of the world.

Secondly, I’m taking a class in Alexander Technique with the Barrow Group. Alexander Technique is a movement practice developed by an actor named F.M. Alexander, and it focuses on awareness of the body. I’m learning how to witness and change the way I live in my body.

One of my favorite bits that I’ve learned in that class is about “The Small Dance”— which is the naturally occurring little movements that happen when one suspends movement and allows their body to sway as it balances. The human body is constantly moving, even in non-movement. There is a whole improvisational dance movement based off of this principle. These days I like to stand with my eyes closed and witness the small dance for a few minutes every day.

a central park squirrel. I HAVE LEARNED TO COMMUNE WITH THE SQUIRRELS! They flock to me.

COLLEGE ADVENTURES

I’ve already been to tour some colleges. My Mom and I took the train up to Poughkeepsie to visit Vassar College, where I met with wonderfully kind people and saw some very charming historical artifacts and squirrels. Vassar was a women’s college originally, so it has a rich history of women’s academic achievement and wonderful campus folklore. Since then, I have had several funny dreams that took place on that campus.

We took yet another train up to New England to visit Middlebury, Amherst, and Williams College. I saw the landscapes of Upstate New York, Vermont, and Massachusetts via long drives on two-lane state highways in the middle of nowhere. It was incredibly beautiful. We feasted on maple candy, apple cider, donuts, ice cream, and many other New England delicacies. I was lucky enough to be able to meet many kind people and join in an improvisational movement class at Amherst College, which was magical. The whole trip was like an extended dream.

We visited Emily Dickinson’s home in Amherst. Standing in her bedroom, and the library, and the stairway, I recalled different lines of poetry. They must have been written with those specific spaces in mind, with their creaky floors and funny dimensions. I learned that during her funeral, she lay in the library of her house, which is very fitting to this poem, which is a favorite of mine.

I bought a pocket edition of her poetry, and sewed a little case for it. Lately, I keep the book in my tote bag, and read it on the subways.

I am having lots of fun applying to different auditions and cold-emailing people I find online. There is so much to learn, and not nearly enough time!

I love you very much! Chat soon.